*A vague memory*{Keisha}

[GWENDOLYN LYRIC]

Ding. The soft sound of the book store bell rang in Gwen’s ears as she entered the small store. There was a haze of dust in the air from the old books. She let out a slight cough as the dust tickled the back of her throat. She had promised to pick up some books for PJ; he had been reading some old series from back in the day. And this was the only store in the west to have it. Supposedly. Gwen loved old books and often read the books that PJ was done reading at home. So this small errand wasn’t that big of a deal for her. Especially since she would be reading these in the next couple of days. She glanced around the haze, noting that she was one of two costumers here. The other one already checking out and getting ready to leave. Gwen couldn’t love it any other way. She liked being alone especially among books. Old and used books. They were the best kind. It wasn’t like the new books were bad, she just chose not to read them. PJ always said it was because she was holding onto the past. That the old literature reminded her of her human life. Which was true. Despite everything, Gwen had read a lot throughout her human life. She walked through the aisles, smelling the store’s atmosphere. The vampire could live in here if it were possible.

Sighing, she ran her gloved hand over the bindings as she paced through the store. Eventually stopping in the fiction section, the biggest section in the small store. She wished she could fully touch the bindings with her own bare hands. But she knew how that would end. The store would go up in flames and Gwen would have to move homes earlier than necessary. So to avoid all that, the gloves stayed on at all times. Gwen moved hand to her small pocket where the list of books was. She folded it open and read the titles once more. It was amazing how quickly she forgot some things, especially when she was distracted. It happened so often that PJ just started writing things down. Gwen could remember memories and such. But every day task or to do lists, she would forget the moment something else caught her attention. It was like her attention span was a chipmunk that ran wild. Just a small little creature that got distracted so easily. She reread the list before turning back to the shelves. Ah, so many books. How was she going to stay focused! Then again spending all day in here wouldn’t be that bad.

And within seconds, Gwen was distracted by a book about love and adventure. It was weird for a girl like her to be distracted by such things, but she did like to surprise people. Her eyes scanned the pages as she flipped through the book at a remarkable speed. The story had drawn her in and now she was incapable of escaping. The vampire was so enthralled in the book that she barely caught the sound of the bell to the door ring. All her senses were down, so as far as she knew anybody could have walked in. She didn’t care much, she was perfectly happy, standing there reading a book. Perfectly happy in her own little world. A world where she wasn’t a vampire. Where she wasn’t heart broken. Where every story had a happy ending for her.

[KEISHA CATORI]

i'll keep your memory vague...

[atrb=style, background-image: url(http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn16/w0lff4t3/Backgrounds/Image465_zpsc0ed83da.jpg); border: solid #00ff40 2px; border-radius: 0px 50px 0px 50px;][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border: solid #00ff40 2px; width: 395px; float: center; padding-right: 30px; padding-left: 30px; padding-bottom: 25px; padding-top: 45px;] [/style] [style=width: 380px; border: solid #000000 2px; border-radius: 15px 15px 15px 15px; font-family: bookman old style; font-size: 12px; padding-right: 5px; padding-left: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; color: #ffffff; line-height: 100%; background: #000000; opacity: 0.8; text-align: center; float: center;] THE TAGGED FEW:: gwen /// CHECK THE THREADS Keisha had somehow managed to find her way all the way out to Port Angeles. Didn’t know how or why, for that matter, but she did. Oh well, it happened. She was going to try and make the most of it while she was her. Being back home after two centuries was interesting. So many different things had changed. Technology she kept up with. I mean that was easy enough right? She was a girl after all, so she considered the fact that technology was second nature to her. But then again it was easy enough. Every so often after a week or two, she needed to shift back into her human form for a couple hours. Nothing too bad. It was enough for her to wrap her head around it and the basics of how it worked. Other than that, technology and the society really didn’t matter to the Catori siblings, because they were just planning to live their lives as wolves. It wasn’t until after the damage was done by staying wolves for so long that Keisha and her brother actually realized what they had done. Now, they’d be stuck another couple decades if not another century or so. Keisha didn’t mind. She wasn’t too sure about Pete. But she honestly didn’t mind. She liked watching the world change. More like she liked being a wolf. This being human thing was definitely killing her inside. Luckily many wolf habits transferred to her human form as well, so she came off as fairly odd mannered. Oh well. But as many things changed there were plenty of things that stayed the same. Forks had a lot of small family owned stores (most of which were new when she was little) that were still open. The only thing that changed in these stores where what was sold. Old dress shops were now just tailors for example. The least change reached La Push. Mostly because the natives there liked to keep very close to their heritage. Keisha was one of those people. She loved her heritage, and always loved the possibility going wolf. That notion never changed even after so many years as one. Port Angeles may have been the biggest change though. It was decently sized, and because it was newer, Keisha wanted to at the very least explore what was there. As she walked down the streets, she looked up at the skyscrapers, somewhat appalled by the city scene. She was a wolf, an open space kind of girl. The constraint bothered her a bit. Needless to say, she did want to totally write it off. Even though she was probably going to… probably. Keisha walked lazily down the street, paying no mind really to the rain drizzling down from the ominous grey clouds making her long blonde hair wavy. As she ambled past, she took little peeks in the shop windows and such, but nothing in particular caught her eye. It wasn’t until she had walked up and down almost every street and looked in almost every shop window that she come upon a smaller shop. This one was different, and the minute it caught her eye Keisha stopped to get a better look through the window. It looked like the shop had been standing for ages, and was filled to the brim and overflowing with books. She loved to read. Not like she did it all the time, but there were a couple books she had read in her lifetime. One in particular though she was sure would be here. Keisha moved to the door and pushed it open. She was greeted by the small ding and her eyes shot up quickly to the old fashioned bell above the door. Now that was something she hadn’t seen in a good long time. Her icy grey eyes cast around the small store. There were books, probably thousands of them, crammed from floor to ceiling in every place possible. Keish would definitely have to remember the shop here for the future. She had only taken a few steps inside when the smell of a vampire caught her nose. Wrinkling her nose in disgust, Keisha moved slightly to find her sitting on the ground by a stack with her head bent over a book in her lap. Keisha figured she would ignore the vampire if it ignored her. She’d be fine with that. Turned she wandered through the store, looking for the section where the local legends would be. Unfortunately, it was down the same aisle that the vampire girl was. Great. Keisha did her best to ignore the stench as she searched the shelf. Finally, she found the book she was looking for. One on old Native American stories that her mother used to tell her and her brother to get them to goes to sleep. She smiled slightly as she picked the book up from the shelf, carefully flicking through it. It would be nice to have it she decided and moved to head back to the counter. But something else caught her icy grey eye (her left was incapable of seeing). The vampire had moved just right and picked up her head just enough. Keisha recognized the face. From where thought she couldn’t remember. Thinking for a moment she walked around to the next aisle to avoid the girl. Curiosity got the better of her though. She stopped and peeked through the bookshelf at the vampire girl. Keisha knew she knew her, she just couldn’t remember from where and it was bugging her greatly. Glancing down at the titles of the books in front of her, Keisha was then momentarily distracted. She went to go pick up the book to read the back cover. On accident though, she managed to push it back into the book on the other side, effectively pushing it over the other side of the shelf in front of the vampire girl. Keisha swore under her breath and glanced down at the book in her hand as the vampire looked up at her. “Damn book…”

[/color] she muttered to herself under her breath. Though now of course she would be able to find out where she knew the other girl from. Course getting there wasn’t going to be that easy… or pleasant to say the least.
[/div]

~:~ HOW MANY WORDS:: 1,052
~:~ JUST A FEW NOTES:: ...teehee too long i know xD
~:~ STUCK IN MY HEAD:: I'LL KEEP YOUR MEMORY VAGUE~~ Finger Eleven

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so you won't feel bad about me...

template by keisha~!

[/center]

[GWENDOLYN LYRIC]

Gwen shifted from side to side, her feet getting a little irritated at her just standing there. She backed up against one of the bookshelves and slid to the ground. She continued to read the book, her interest in a romantic story oddly increasing. For the first time in two hundred years. Maybe it was a replacement for the one she was most likely never going to have. Sighing, she pulled her knees to her chest and sighed. A soft ding went off in the background, as she continued to be enthralled into the story. Though she paused when something awful hit her nose. Gwen felt her nose wrinkle slightly when the scent filled her nose. What was that? A few seconds passed before it registered that it was a shifter. Gwen rarely came across them, and even though there were two packs near forks, she had yet to meet one here.

The female vampire stopped her knee-jerk breathing and tried to not smell as much. She decided to ignore the werewolf. Even though they were natural enemies, Gwen really had no problems with shifters. Well she had a problem with one particular shifter for breaking PJ’s heart. And causing him, and by default her, to travel around the world in search for her. Oh well. Can’t blame all the shifters for one idiot’s mistake. Gwen heard footsteps come around the bookshelf. She didn’t bother to look up since there is no point in acknowledging the shifter. They weren’t going to interact. And if they did, it would not end well. For either of them. Or the bookstore. Mostly the bookstore. She read the third chapter in the book she was holding, adjusting herself on the carpet ever so slightly. Better keep herself in a ball to avoid any contact. Don’t want to disturb her reading or irritate either being. Gwen suppressed the urge to wrinkle her nose again as the shifter walked past her. By the look of her slim legs, it had to be a female. Not that that mattered.

When the legs of the shifter disappeared, Gwen was elated. At least the shifter was either leaving or going to the other side of the bookstore. Flipping another page in her book, she heard the footsteps in the next aisle and shook her head slightly. Whatever. Suddenly a book went flying off of the shelf and landed right in front of Gwen. She glanced up at the book with a glare that could kill. Thank god her power was controlled through her hands and not her eyes otherwise that book would be a pile of ash right now. Heaving a heavy sigh, she reached for the book and stood up. “Did you want this?” Gwen asked trying to hold back her hostile tone. She went to hand the book to the shifter but froze when she finally saw the face of the shifter. Her hand went limp and the book fell to the ground once more. Her glare intensified as she felt her hands heat up. Dropping her book, she sprinted to the next aisle that the blonde was in.

Gwendolyn squinted her eyes at the female shifter. It couldn’t be? After over a century of looking the idiot that left her brother was standing right in front of her. What would she say? What could she say? After the first fifty years, Gwen decided to stay out of PJ’s messy love life. She had her own to face. That she still had issues with dealing. Her eyes glanced down at the book that the idiot was holding. Locking her jaw, Gwen took a step back and sighed once again. “That’s a good book,” she stated in a monotone voice, before willing her body to relax. There was no point in confronting this shifter. It was PJ’s battle and hers. But he was her brother, her family. Gwen wanted to look out for him. But sometimes looking out for someone means to not create waves. Wow, it took two hundred years, but Gwen was starting to grow and change. A little bit. “I overreacted; I thought I knew you from somewhere.” Thinking about it now, Gwen had only met her once in passing years ago. This woman probably didn’t even remember her. Maybe she didn’t even remember PJ.

Oh if that was the case. Gwen inhaled sharply. No, PJ would want her to be nice and to let it pass. He would say its not worth it. He would say that this girl meant a lot to him and would want Gwen to at least polite to her. To treat her like she would treat everybody else. Well okay not like everybody else. Like how she used to treat people when she was still human. She was a little nicer then. But still sarcastic. Though Gwen could only be polite for so long. She had to do something in character otherwise she might burst into flames. Which at this point might be very possible. “Do you know a Keisha Catori?” Gwen asked, slowly feeling her politeness slipping. The female tilted her head and gave her a fake smile. This was going to end very. VERY badly.

[KEISHA CATORI]

i'll keep your memory vague...

[atrb=style, background-image: url(http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn16/w0lff4t3/Backgrounds/Image465_zpsc0ed83da.jpg); border: solid #00ff40 2px; border-radius: 0px 50px 0px 50px;][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border: solid #00ff40 2px; width: 395px; float: center; padding-right: 30px; padding-left: 30px; padding-bottom: 25px; padding-top: 45px;] [/style] [style=width: 380px; border: solid #000000 2px; border-radius: 15px 15px 15px 15px; font-family: bookman old style; font-size: 12px; padding-right: 5px; padding-left: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; color: #ffffff; line-height: 100%; background: #000000; opacity: 0.8; text-align: center; float: center;] THE TAGGED FEW:: gwen /// CHECK THE THREADS Keisha continued looking in the book that had caused the somewhat unwanted interaction. The thump of the book that fell on the ground was almost deafening in the otherwise silent store. The vampire girl’s voice surprised Keisha; she didn’t think that she wouldn’t have responded. She glanced across the book shelf at the other girl. “No thanks, that was my bad sorry,”

[/b] she answered, the pure acid in her own voice matching the not so subtle hostility in the vampire’s. Keish wasn’t in the mood to deal with this. Damn her curiosity. It would be the death of her one day. But then again the saying was “curiosity killed the cat” so she was fairly sure she’d turn out okay without much of a hitch.

When the vampire girl got up and moved to Keisha’s aisle, the alpha was stunned. Of course she wasn’t about to let her surprise show. Instead, she tensed at let out a low throaty growl that shouldn’t have come from a human girl her size. It was a wolf thing, and a natural instinct. Being a wolf had switched her habits up so much. Many of these habits had then been transferred right into her human form. It was a curious thing to see how effected her human characteristics were after spending hundreds of years as a wolf. Nothing was really the same anymore. She curled her lip as the vampire studied her. “Problem?” she asked hotly. At the girl’s recommendation of the book, Keisha glanced down at the hard cover book as well. The book and her minor case of A.D.D. that had caused this little encounter. Keisha’s icy grey eyes sent frozen waved at the vampire as Keish lifted her eyes from the book she was holding. “Obviously,” she said, the acid in her still pure and bitter. “You should lay off the heat a bit, by the way, especially if you haven’t a clue who exactly you’re talking to.”[/b] Keisha wasn’t trying to be bitchy, she was just cold. Dark and distant. Plenty of things made her that way. That was just how life went.

Keisha made a move to pass the vampire, pressing the book into the other girl’s chest at the same time. “As far as the book goes, I’ll pass,” she said coolly. “Forgive me, but I don’t trust a vampire’s taste in anything.”[/b] Keisha pushed her way past the vampire, not taking another look at the other girl or breaking her own stride. If Keisha knew her, she stopped caring. She obviously wasn’t worth remembering like some vampires were… well one vampire was. Keisha wasn’t about to deal with an attitude that she didn’t deserve either. Frigging vampires think they’re so damn high and mighty. Please. Go through my life, then get high and mighty,[/i] she thought acidly as she walked away.

Of course though, the mention of her name from the vampire caught her a little of guard. Unfortunately for the leech, it just wasn’t enough to make her stop. She didn’t have the pleasure of that from the alpha wolf girl. Keisha just threw a cool look at the vampire girl and her fake little smile over her shoulder. “Who wants to know?”[/color] Keisha asked voice smooth and cool. It wasn’t a giveaway of herself, but It wasn’t a total write off on the vampire either. It was up to the vampire girl now. Keisha continued toward the cashier, turning her head and leaving the vampire girl behind. Her stride didn’t falter and she didn’t give the vampire another glance. She was an alpha. Keisha had learned quickly how to act and how to read a situation. There were ones you fought for and ones you let be. This was one of the ones you let be. Of course, vampires didn’t learn that, didn’t respect the fact that there were natural boundaries. They thought the owned everything. Were all powerful. Shit. Keisha hadn’t seen a bunch that was weaker in the world, so unnerved by their own being. It was pathetic. Of course, this was how Keisha would get her information on if she actually knew this girl or not, because she so obviously knew her. If the fates allowed, a blessing would reveal itself in time. Of course, in dealing with a vampire, Keisha wasn’t too sure how good of a blessing it could actually be.
[/div]

~:~ HOW MANY WORDS:: 731
~:~ JUST A FEW NOTES:: uuuuhhhhh-oh... Keish is fighting fire with fire xD
~:~ STUCK IN MY HEAD:: I'LL KEEP YOUR MEMORY VAGUE~~ Finger Eleven

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so you won't feel bad about me...

template by keisha~!

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[GWENDOLYN LYRIC]

The time Gwen had for this situation did not exist. There were things in this world Gwen wished she could just erase with her mind. This shifter was one of them. The female vampire understood that she didn’t use the best tone but the intention was there. It was clear the intention was not there with this blonde shifter. This interaction was slowly escalating in the worst way possible. Maybe Gwen should just have ignored both the book and the bitch. Everything would be good then. She wouldn’t have to keep her anger in check. Wouldn’t have to worry that in a matter of seconds she could burn down the whole book store. But of course life didn’t work that way. It always seemed to work against her, and this time was no different from any other time.

Gwen rolled her eyes at the other’s comment. Please, it is a known fact that it takes a number or shifters, regardless of rank, to take down one vampire. And that would be a newborn vampire. She was 200 years old. This little chick didn’t frighten her in the least. So if that was her goal it didn’t work. When will other learn that Gwen doesn’t care easily? And that she is relatively sure she has yet to match someone with her hostility. Also known as her default mode. “What are you? The big bad wolf?” Gwen questioned with heavy sarcasm. The female vampire suppressed the urge to roll her eyes once more. This was ridiculous. She really, really needed to start thinking these confrontations through. Sometimes Gwen thought with her heart more so than her brain. And that’s what got her in trouble most of the time. Okay got her in trouble all of the time. Again she wondered how PJ put up with a woman like her.

“Neither do I.” It was something she muttered to herself. It was ironic that Gwen was a vampire but didn’t trust her species to save her life. She hated her nature, therefore hated others like her by default. It was just how it all worked for. Especially those demons with the red eyes. They were the worst thinking they were better than most because they drank human blood. Gwen stepped back as the shifter so rudely walked past her. Neither one of these girls were that friendly to the other. They were just a hot mess waiting to happen. The poor store clerk, he had no idea what was transpiring right under his nose.

Gwen watched as the other girl kept walking. She was going to assume that she was going to ignore her, but she did answer her after a few seconds. “My brother, PJ,” Gwen stated suppressing the urge to smirk. She knew this shifter was Keisha and this was surely going to prove her right. She just had to watch carefully for any sign of reaction. Surely if she loved PJ at all there would be some form of reaction. Then again if she didn’t react than Gwen was right about something else. This girl felt nothing for her brother. She tore his heart out and did not care. Gwen wouldn’t be happy to give the news to PJ but at least it would make him stop with this nonsense adventure. He would stop dragging her around the world and they could finally go somewhere that she wanted to go. It wasn’t like she didn’t enjoy the places they went to. But they were so random and they were usually small towns. Gwen missed being in a city. She missed seeing the building. Once PJ gives up this adventure the first place she was going to visit was London. Gwen and PJ left once she was convinced to move around with him. But they never went back. It was half because they were following this blonde bimbo around and half because Gwen was afraid of running into her past love. This is probably why PJ and Gwen got along, they both bonded over lost love. Loves that left them behind.

[KEISHA CATORI]

i'll keep your memory vague...

[atrb=style, background-image: url(http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn16/w0lff4t3/Backgrounds/Image465_zpsc0ed83da.jpg); border: solid #00ff40 2px; border-radius: 0px 50px 0px 50px;][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border: solid #00ff40 2px; width: 395px; float: center; padding-right: 30px; padding-left: 30px; padding-bottom: 25px; padding-top: 45px;] [/style] [style=width: 380px; border: solid #000000 2px; border-radius: 15px 15px 15px 15px; font-family: bookman old style; font-size: 12px; padding-right: 5px; padding-left: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; color: #ffffff; line-height: 100%; background: #000000; opacity: 0.8; text-align: center; float: center;] THE TAGGED FEW:: gwen /// CHECK THE THREADS The alpha smirked at the vampire girl’s comment. Big bad wolf? She thought so. Granted in some cases she probably was. But hey, she’d take it. Not like she really cared. Keisha just hated dealing with vampires with God complexes. Which seemed to be quite a bit lately. Too bad they weren’t as tough as they liked to think. Just because wolves traveled and hunted in packs, didn’t meant they were weaker than vampires, just a bit smarter. Strength in numbers after all. She flicked a smirk at the vampire. “Well maybe I am. You really wanna find out?”

[/color] Keisha answered easily, just as much sarcasm thickening her voice. Realistically, she was called worse before, and by better people. Just because a snobby vamp said something didn’t mean she was going to go sulk. Also meant that Keisha was living up to her name. It was kind of something she prided herself in. And she wasn’t about to let some vampire tell her otherwise.

As Keisha moved toward the front counter, she didn’t think the vampire was going to say anything else. Boy was she wrong. The next words out of the vampire’s mouth were enough to make Keisha’s blood run cold. Of course. How could she not recognize this girl? Of course, in her own defense, it had been a couple decades ago and Keisha had only met PJ’s little sister once. At her imprint’s name, Keisha’s step faltered, but only slightly. All the same, she stopped, but didn’t turn around to face the other girl. “It’s good to see you again, Gwendolyn,”[/color] Keisha said, keeping her eyes straight forward. Her voice was icy and glazed over, almost as if she was in a dream. The sound of his name – just the sound of it – stirred up plenty of emotions that she would have rather kept buried.

Sighing, Keisha turned her head and looked at Gwen over her shoulder through ice cold eyes. Looking at them they were almost completely void of everything… everything except pain. “Gwen, if you have any soul left, leave it lie…”[/color] Keisha said quietly before turning and continuing to the cashier. As she moved away she added in a mutter, “I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”[/color] It was just loud enough, only for the vampire girl’s ears. A bit of a slap for the other girl? Yes, a little. But it was true. Keisha hardly expected Gwen to understand. Every now and again Keisha didn’t understand it either.

Reaching the counter, Keisha put the book down, a little more forcefully then she had really intended to. She handed over the little bit of cash for it, and looked down at her purchase, momentarily loosing herself to the haze. So PJ was in town. Keisha wondered vaguely about how he ended up in Forks in the first place. But that wasn’t the pressing matter. What was was that her imprint was right under her nose. She had yet to see him though. Maybe that was a good thing. But Keisha highly doubted that she would. She wasn’t sure that Gwen would keep her mouth shut. Probably not. But Keisha had a feeling that she wouldn’t be seeing PJ anytime soon.

Leaving him had been one of the hardest things she had ever had to do. That was honestly probably the last thing she expected Gwen to understand. But then again, PJ had told Keisha that they guy who loved Gwen had left her too. Keisha looked at the other girl as she turned to leave. Okay so maybe she would understand a little. But Keisha wasn’t about to explain herself to a vampire, let alone explain one of the toughest decisions of her life to a vampire. She started toward the door, getting just near enough to Gwen to say something to her. “Don’t worry if you were going to rub it in my face, by the way, not a day goes by that I’m not tortured by it,”[/color] Keisha said, walking past her. At least Gwen knew that much now. If she told PJ then fine, but at least Keisha wouldn’t have to relive that decision for people to see.
[/div]

~:~ HOW MANY WORDS:: 696
~:~ JUST A FEW NOTES:: lil bit shorter for you ^_^
~:~ STUCK IN MY HEAD:: I'LL KEEP YOUR MEMORY VAGUE~~ Finger Eleven

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so you won't feel bad about me...

template by keisha~!

[/center]

[GWENDOLYN LYRIC]

“I rather not have my favorite store get destroyed over a little pride,” Gwen stated with a blank tone. She knew any fight they got into would result in the store being destroyed. Especially with her power and how uncontrollable it gets. Her gloves could come off and a simple touch would send the store, Keisha, and her up into flames. It was a very cool power when you think about it. Controlling fire from inside, being able to set fires with just the tips of your fingers. It felt amazing and made her feel powerful, when she was aware of using it. But it was tied to her emotions. Which is why she wore gloves all the time. Gwen was every hostile and sarcastic, no gloves would cause everything to burst into flames. All the time. So wearing gloves was better than trying to keep her emotions in check. Let’s be realistic, no female really has control over those. Unless they just don’t acknowledge the fact that they have emotions.

Some people, vampires especially, were like that. It would be better if a person didn’t let their emotions run wild to just shut everything down and not acknowledge any of it. All the hurt, the pain would go away. And by default so would all the happiness. The feeling of happiness, love, and all that fun stuff. Is it worth losing all of that so you just don’t’ feel anymore? There are some days that Gwen would say yes to that. To just forget about Tristan. Forget about the giant hole he left in the middle of her chest. To be able to just let go and just live her undead life. But if she let go then wouldn’t that mean she also leaves behind the happiness. The few times a day her brother makes her happy. Or the fun she feels when hanging out with her friends. The enjoyment she felt while messing with Blake. Sometimes all of that was just not worth it. But more times than not, Gwen would rather feel her emotions. The only thing she hated was when she let her emotions get in the way of decision making. When people used those emotions against her. Yea, there were many cons to emotions. And very few pros. But the pros were worth the cons.

Gwen caught the slight reaction from the girl. The beauty of having amazing eye sight, you saw close to everything. Which made reading people that much easier. “Sure it is,” Gwen muttered with heavy sarcasm. The two only met once and it was in passing. Back then Gwen would have tolerated the girl. Honestly they probably would have ended up friends. But she left her brother. And while PJ might be willing to forgive her, she wasn’t. It sucked when you dated someone with close family ties. You weren’t just dating them; you were dating their family and friends. It was kind of bothersome. Which is why Gwen stayed away from the whole dating scene. Well it was between that and the fact that her mate pretty much tore her heart out and fed it to the dogs. Figuratively speaking of course. Though that might explain a lot if she truly didn’t have heart. It wasn’t like she needed the organ to survive anymore. She dead. Dead, dead.

That was the thing about being vampire, you were didn’t have a soul left. Or at least the red-eyed vampires didn’t seem to have one. The gold-eyed ones, like her, seemed to have souls that riddled them with guilt and pain every time they caused someone else hurt. “I can’t. I have been dragged around every place on this planet because of you. Letting it go is just not that easy.” Gwen wasn’t trying to start a fight. She wasn’t trying to be mean or spiteful. But there were many things Gwen held Keisha responsible for. All of which she wasn’t going to let go. Though Gwen really had to make sure she was keeping her feelings for her and Tristan separate. Though it was a bit hard since they both pretty much did the same thing. Yea, it was a little hard to let it go. Just the thought of PJ going through what she went through put Gwen into an angry tail-spin. The female vampire never wished that feeling on anyone.

How PJ could forgive this girl and go around the world to search for her, was beyond Gwen. This girl avoided anything that resembled Tristan. As much as she loved him, and as sure as she was that he was her mate, she wanted nothing to do with him. Gwen would never try to follow him around the world, begging for forgiveness. For a do-over. But that’s what made the two vampires different. Well that and their social ability, but that another thing entirely. Gwen just couldn’t believe that PJ wanted to apologize to Keisha when all Gwen wanted to do was rip Tristan’s heart out like he did to her. Okay so the girl was more than angry and bitter about the whole situation but she had every right to be. She shouldn’t take her anger for Tristan out on Keisha though. It was her brother’s problem not hers. But that’s what family did, they got into each other’s business.

“You’re right I don’t understand. I don’t understand how someone can leave the person they love. But what I do understand is how PJ felt when you left him. The pain and the despair.” Gwen paused trying to keep her emotions somewhat in check. “And what I really don’t understand is how he feels like it was his fault and the determination he has to find you.” Okay, so keeping the two situations separate wasn’t really working at this point. But the shifter didn’t know what she was really feeling. Again, Gwen wasn’t trying to start anything. She just wanted to understand. To understand what was going on in her head when she came to the decision. What was going on in PJ’s head as he traveled around the world looking for this girl. Gwen couldn’t image how hurt he felt each time he ran into a dead end. Why he kept doing it over and over again, was beyond her comprehension.

Gwen felt herself following Keisha out the store. She really should have let it go. Truly just let the shifter walk away and pretend this never happened. But she couldn’t. “I want to understand though,” Gwen called out to her. “How can someone just leave the person they are meant to be with?” The question wasn’t asked with a hostile tone. Her tone was filled with sadness, hurt, and curiosity. What went through their minds? How did they make that decision? This was the closest thing to an explanation for Gwen. She wasn’t going to find Tristan and ask him. Keisha was the closest thing to it. But would she feel better about everything? Would Keisha’s answer change how she felt about her possible mate? Probably not. Her answer would not change the fact that Gwen could probably never trust Tristan. Or trust anyone outside of PJ. It probably won’t change her outlook on love. It the vampire’s mind it was all black and white when it came to love. If you loved someone, you stayed with them. You would never leave them; you would try to work it out. How could you leave them when they were everything to you?

[KEISHA CATORI]

i'll keep your memory vague...

[atrb=style, background-image: url(http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn16/w0lff4t3/Backgrounds/Image465_zpsc0ed83da.jpg); border: solid #00ff40 2px; border-radius: 0px 50px 0px 50px;][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border: solid #00ff40 2px; width: 395px; float: center; padding-right: 30px; padding-left: 30px; padding-bottom: 25px; padding-top: 45px;] [/style] [style=width: 380px; border: solid #000000 2px; border-radius: 15px 15px 15px 15px; font-family: bookman old style; font-size: 12px; padding-right: 5px; padding-left: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; color: #ffffff; line-height: 100%; background: #000000; opacity: 0.8; text-align: center; float: center;] THE TAGGED FEW:: gwen /// CHECK THE THREADS Keisha heard the sarcasm in Gwen’s voice, but it didn’t faze her in the slightest. She kept her back to the vampire. Her eyes dropped to the floor though at Gwen’s accusations. Tch, letting go wasn’t easy? The vampire was preaching to the choir. Keisha knew how hard it was to let go. It had been downright near impossible for her. Causing sleepless nights of pain and anguish. There was nothing in this world the shifter knew better. Even after all the years she had been alive, and all the things she had seen. Maybe that why it was so easy to turn everything off. Get out of her mind… out of her emotions…   A little too easy actually. The numbness sucked everything from Keisha’s core. Everything until there was nothing left. Just like the weeks that had come after leaving PJ. She didn’t know what was worse, the inability to feeling anything, both emotionally and physically, or feeling so much pain and sorrow that it cause intense physical pain. Either way and even though Keisha didn’t want to, the numbing sensation sucked her into a protected cocoon. As she walked back past Gwen, Keisha heard her words and her own, but felt nothing. They had this strange sort of detachment to them. Almost as if she wasn’t the one saying them, but she was a bystander in a totally different conversation. It was a weird feeling, and when it subsided it always left her feeling exhausted and like she was hung over. Keisha didn’t get it, nor did she care to understand the numbness. She just knew, no matter the side effects, it had helped get her through that whole thing. On the downside, it came much too naturally for her now, much too easily.   Keisha started down the street, not totally expecting Gwen to follow her but she did. Again Keisha heard her words and felt that strange feeling of detachment. Like they should mean something to her, stir up some emotion, but it didn’t. Right now it wasn’t going to. It wouldn’t be until later that anything really hit. Sighing though Keisha did stop and turned to look at Gwen as the vampire girl caught up to her. Keisha’s normally icy grey eyes were almost black and dull, void of anything, void of life. They were only that of a corpse. She saw Gwen without really seeing her. If the girl wanted to be all pissed at Keisha fine. Gwen would have to see this though. The death… the complete absence of anything that made Keisha feel alive. That was PJ. The thought of him living, walking the earth… that was the only reason she could even get up every morning and be relatively okay. But the absence of him… well that’s what caused this. A body without feelings, without life. And Gwen needed to see that.   What made it that much worse, was Keisha knew full well, with every waking moment of the days that flew by, that she did this to herself. It was a suicide in its worst form. At least that was what she believed. It was what she knew first hand. “’Just leave’?”

[/color] she questioned, her voice flat and robotic. Just as emotionless as her usually icy cold eyes. “You think it was easy for us? For me and the guy that left you?”[/color] The words usually would have come out of her mouth with a much more angry tone, but that was the thing when she got like this. She just flat out didn’t care. It would push buttons. It would hurt Gwen a bit more. But if she really wanted to understand anything about this, that was a start. Keisha realized the other girl was upset, but right now empathy was getting sucked into the vast void of nothing that she was feeling.
 
Closing her eyes, Keisha sucked in a deep breath. “I didn’t do anything to you, Gwen. Just let it go. You’re a big girl. You could’ve stayed where ever you wanted,”[/color] she said, finally responding to what the vampire had said back in the store, and turned to continue walking again. This was numbness like she had never felt before. She was already exhausted, ready to fall into an open grave. Like the world was suddenly falling on her shoulders, and she could no longer hold it up herself. Of course, from what Gwen had said so far, Keisha was aware that she was going to be especially persistent. Right now, Keisha wanted nothing to do with it. She didn’t want anything to do with anything really. She was going to go home, and… well, she was going to shift and wander her way away from everything. Even if it was only for a short time.
 
Sighing, Keisha continued, and said over her shoulder for the other girl to hear, “You really don’t want to try to understand this. The pain you felt, though I’m sure it was great, isn’t much compared to knowing…”[/color] Keisha sucked in a deep breath and tried to will the numbness away, but it didn’t waver in the slightest. It would have been surprising to her, had she felt anything, but if that was the case, this was going to last a while. And though she hated to admit it, this was probably the best time to tell Gwen what the other girl wanted to know. Keisha hated how it usually ended up like that, the most inopportune moments were really the ones with the most opportunities. There was nothing that Fate didn’t like to fuck around with in her life, she was starting to see that fact very clearly.
[/div]

~:~ HOW MANY WORDS:: 948
~:~ JUST A FEW NOTES:: GWEN BROKE KEISHA!
~:~ STUCK IN MY HEAD:: I'LL KEEP YOUR MEMORY VAGUE~~ Finger Eleven

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so you won't feel bad about me...

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[GWENDOLYN LYRIC]

every heartache...

[atrb=style, background-image: url(http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn16/w0lff4t3/Backgrounds/fire_wallpaper_by_knato97-d576xm1.jpg); border: solid #950909 2px; border-radius: 0px 50px 0px 50px;][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border: solid #950909 2px; width: 395px; float: center; padding-right: 30px; padding-left: 30px; padding-bottom: 25px; padding-top: 45px;] [/style] [style=width: 380px; border: solid #000000 2px; border-radius: 15px 15px 15px 15px; font-family: bookman old style; font-size: 12px; padding-right: 5px; padding-left: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-top: 5px; color: #dd0303; line-height: 100%; background: #000000; opacity: 0.9; text-align: center; float: center;] THE TAGGED FEW:: Keisha /// CHECK THE THREADS Gwen stopped in her tracks when Keisha turned around. Honestly the vampire thought the shifter was going to keep walking and just ignore her. That’s what she would have done. She was mildly surprised that Keisha didn’t keep walking since she made her hatred of vampires pretty well-known. It was shocking, but not as shocking as what Gwen saw in the girl’s eyes. They were dead, her soul was dead. The pain of leaving PJ left her dead and numb. Gwen could clearly see it on her face and in her eyes. She knew that pain well. For the first fifty years of Gwen’s vampire life she felt dead and numb. Hell she made herself feel that way. But of course it didn’t work. All this emotion and stuff bottled into one little body was more dangerous than her losing control on a normal basis. Gwen paused for a moment and felt sympathy for Keisha. She could understand all that pain. That pain was awful to feel. But she wouldn’t put herself through all of that had she not left PJ to begin with. Keisha wouldn’t be putting herself through all of this guilt or whatever if she had stayed. She wouldn’t have to hurt or hurt anyone. That’s what Gwen couldn’t grasp. If Keisha, or even Tristan, felt THIS awful and knew they hurt someone they loved. Then why do it? It just didn’t make sense. No amount of fear or anger could make Gwen understand their decision. Gwen rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest. “You looking dead won’t convince me of anything. You are clearly in pain without him and he’s crazy when you’re not around. Why put yourself through that?” Gwen asked. “Honestly, you should have known the risk to leaving him. So either fix it or get over it.” It was that simple to Gwen. She was tired for feeling sorry for people and for herself. Really? It was getting old, all this guilt and pain. Things happen, so it’s either their choice to fix it or get over it. Honestly, Gwen knew she wasn’t going to ever run into Tristan again. So she should probably take her own advice. And suddenly she was hit with sadness; there would be no way to fix what happened between them. So Gwen was going to have to move on. But how does someone move on from that? Gwen was all talk and could give a compelling speech. But she could never do it. Moving on from Tristan was a lot easier said than done. After all of that, she had thought she was his mate. But if she’s contemplating moving on then maybe he wasn’t. Saying that, she quickly added, “I mean...I’m sorry, it can’t be easy to go through all of that. But if you guys are truly mates, or whatever you pups do, then none of this should have happened in the first place.” Okay so she attempted to apologize in the statement, but apparently it wasn’t working. Gwen didn’t want to further this fight. Honestly she was sick of fighting, especially this one. Since it technically wasn’t even hers to begin with. This was PJ’s responsibility and she was just sticking her nose in something that she shouldn’t. And to top it off she was reflecting her problems onto Keisha and PJ, which wasn’t exactly fair to Keisha. And unfortunately she was feeling guilty over it. “So then why do it?” Gwen questioned again. It felt like a never ending cycle at this point. Gwen never understood how anybody could just leave their loved ones behind. How parents could just walk out of their kids’ lives, without a word or anything? How siblings could just leave each other after a huge fight? How people who are meant to be together for forever leave their partner? Gwen could never understand any of it. Maybe it was because she could never image herself doing that. The female vampire could never leave someone no matter how scared she would be or how angry either of them would be. And for protection? Well, Gwen felt like the person she loved would be more protected with her around. Not to mention you wouldn’t be protecting them by leaving. You would open them up to the danger of being alone, of being heartbroken. The danger of changing every outlook you have every personality trait you had. Luckily that didn’t have PJ. He managed to come out on top, with overwhelming determination to find Keisha. He inspired Gwen in more ways than one during this whole thing, even though she would never show it. “You’re wrong!” Gwen shouted suddenly. The female vampire took a deep breath and looked at Keisha apologetically. “I can’t let it go and I couldn’t have stayed where I wanted to. Sure PJ gave me a choice with no strings attached, that’s the type of guy he is. But I wouldn’t be me if I left him when he needed someone the most. So no, I didn’t have that choice because there was no choice. PJ took me, became my brother…leaving him back then, even now, that’s not a choice for me. And I wouldn’t be me if I let this go, if I let you walk away from him again without a fight. Figuratively speaking, of course.” Gwen was a complicated vampire. It was strange. It took her forever to trust someone and become loyal to them. But once she was, then she was unbelievably loyal to you. Partly because she was stubborn and righteous, but also because that’s how loyal she was. The only time Gwen ever written someone out of her life is if they either broke her trust or walked out on her. Other than that Gwen will never walk out on someone. No matter how much damage they would do to her. If she still trusts you and you didn’t walk away, then she wouldn’t either. It was a trait she had as a human and it only intensified when she became a vampire. Maybe that’s why it was so hard for her to see any other point of view in a situation like this. Gwen sighed in defeat. “I do want to understand this, but I don’t think you’re the one that should explain it. Not saying you’re not capable of doing so it’s just… PJ should be hearing this from you, like I should be hearing it from someone else.” Does that make sense? It should. Gwen was basically saying that Keisha could sit here and tell her everything she wanted to know and it still wouldn’t be enough. She needed to hear it from Tristan, from her source. “Wanna go for a run?” Gwen asked suddenly. Runs always made her feel better. Plus this way neither one of them would have to talk to each other. But they could preoccupy themselves and their minds. Not to mention Gwen was feeling slightly bad about bringing all of this up. Especially since this wasn’t even her fight to begin with. ~:~ HOW MANY WORDS:: 1,182 words xD ~:~ JUST A FEW NOTES:: So this post was going good, until the end >< my bad!! ~:~ STUCK IN MY HEAD:: MISERY ~ MAROON 5

will fade away...

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