AllWeDoIsRunAroundInCircles [esme/jasper]

[EMMETT CULLEN]

I know, baby, just how you feel

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[style=font-family: french script mt; font-size: 25px; color: #0a5403; text-shadow: #5c5c5c 2px 2px 2px; letter-spacing: -1px; margin-top: -15px;]You’ve got to roll with the punches to get to what’s real

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[/i] There was no way to have that much fun without destroying things with large objects. The destruction part, of course, had not been part of the original plan but had been a high risk from the beginning. Most things Emmett enjoyed doing had that risk, but with Jasper around it was usually pretty well-controlled. It only made sense, since Jasper’s low fun-levels usually leveled off with Emmett’s to create the average amount of fun—apparently this time Jasper wasn’t doing his job very well, because anything that got too fun and destructive would become his fault. And things got destructive… incase you didn’t come to that realization from the multiple uses of the word in this paragraph. Anyway, Emmett and Jasper were ever-so-cleverly flicking a pile of head-sized stones that Emmett had collected through a goal across Emmett’s room marked by two piles of books that he’s stolen from Edward’s room. Jasper had mentioned that it was probably a bad idea but Emmett was determined to find a way to have fun inside. If this worked, they had a new game and no trees would be harmed in the making of the fun! It did work, for a while, until Emmett got over excited after knocking a pile of books over. He cheered, and threw a stone through his floor to the floor beneath them. Oops—wait! I uuh, he said before running to his closet and emerging with two glue sticks. He tossed one at Jasper. Here… do something.

And then he remembered… they weren’t the only ones home. Uuh… Esme?! I Think a bear got in here…and ate through the ceiling. Jasper saw it. Okay that was kind of stupid but a bear was the first thing he could think of under pressure. He knew better than anyone how vicious they were. And Emmett really needed to stop dragging Jasper into his problems because he knew that Jasper was too smart to fall into that trap… not to mention that the odds of Jasper having to do with such a mess were pretty slim. That would be why bad things usually didn’t happen with Jasper around. I think it’s safe to say after two paragraphs of blaming Jasper that Jasper had failed and this was his fault. Emmett looked at his brother. I’m gonna go… uh… catch the bear. If he said it enough out loud, maybe it’d become true. He ran out of the room and down the stairs to under where the hole had been made. The floor was all dusty and full of small pieces of debris and that kind of really stood out considering the rest of their house was flawless.

WORDS:: 460 // TAGGED:: Jasper and Esme!<356 // STATUS:: it'ss obnoxiouss// SONG :: Say – John Mayer

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template by keisha~!

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[JASPER HALE]

Jasper had known this was a bad idea from the start. Really, it probably was his fault, for not talking Emmett out of it earlier. But Emmett was excited and he really didn't have a good argument (besides, yanno, the house could potentially get destroyed) so Jasper went along with it. And they tossed the stones through the goal a few times and nothing broke, so he was basically getting the 'i told you so's and starting to loosen up about the whole thing. That, of course, was before Emmett sent a rock through the floor. "Emmett!" He couldn't believe he'd just- yeah, okay, he should have believed it. It was definitely his fault for not properly supervising his older brother (yeup, Emmett gets to be considered the older one here because it's convenient). 'Here… do something.' He caught the glue stick and shot 'really?' look at Emmett. Obviously he was a Tilly character and thus had limited skills under pressure, but no amount of glue was going to fix this mess and it was pretty obvious.

Esme.. Jasper hadnt even remembered she was home. 'I Think a bear got in here…and ate through the ceiling. Jasper saw it.' Yeah, this was becoming one of those times when Emmett's humor was not appreciated. Jasper was obviously taking the situation a lot more seriously, so he wasn't bothering to respond to the ridiculousness. Had they broken something of Edward's, it would have been an entirely different matter, but Esme was their surrogate mother and Jasper was more respectful of that. He followed Emmett downstairs to assess the damages (which were pretty bad). "We're very sorry, Esme." he apologized sincerely. He for one, was sorry, and he wasn't going to let Emmett take the blame because he'd approved the stupid idea (and he was really just too damn nice).

[ESME CULLEN]

Chop the onions into fine pieces before sauteing them in oil... Esme carefully read the directions in her new Mediterranean cookbook that she'd bought earlier that day. Emmett had some type of an event going on in his English class where they all had to bring in a Mediterranean dish and talk about it, and Esme had offered to make one for him (mostly because she didn't trust him in her precious kitchen by himself. She was about halfway through chopping the first onion when all of a sudden she heard a horrible crashing noise, seeing the damage almost immediately afterward. A horrible, gaping hole in her precious ceiling! And all the rubble had probably dented her floors! Dropping the onion and the knife onto the cutting board with a small yelp, Esme ran closer to survey the damage. "What is going on here?!" she asked, a tremor in her voice as she tried to keep it calm and not yelling. She saw Emmett come rushing down the stairs, followed by Jasper. "Uuh… Esme?! I Think a bear got in here…and ate through the ceiling. Jasper saw it." Esme let out a large sigh- she didn't want to lose her temper, but Emmett was making it very hard. She let out another sigh, calming herself.

"A bear named Emmett, right?" she said sternly, looking at her two 'sons'. "I'm gonna go... uh... catch the bear." "Clean this mess up. Now. And afterward, you can help me finish cooking your Mediterranean dish." Esme was not pleased. Carlisle wouldn't be, either, no doubt, when he returned home to see the damage his sons had done to the house. Especially since it was sure to upset his wife. Which it did. Considerably. She was already trying to figure out what she'd do- she'd have to call the carpenter, have everyone leave the house so they could work during sunny, daylight hours, and... it was going to be a hassle, but it would have to be done.

"We're very sorry, Esme." now, Esme refused to pick favourites between her children, but if she could do so right now, Jasper would definitely be higher on her list than Emmett. He was, actually, but not permanently. "It's okay, Jasper. But please help clean up this mess." she stood now, hands on her hips, looking at all the damage that had been done with a small grimace. "Please tell me you didn't ruin anything else?" she asked, turning back to look at Emmett. This was not how she'd imagined her day going....

ooc: okay so i actually took a lot of liberties with this and made shit up because it sounded good so hi guys just go with it kthxbye oh and happy birthday phips

[EMMETT CULLEN]

Emmett! Don’t Emmett me, that’s not fixing it! There were very few situations that could get Emmett out ‘calm, cool, and collected’ mode. This happened to be one of them and in his defense he really didn’t realize how ridiculous he was being because of the panic. He sent Jasper a slightly apologetic look before running downstairs where Esme was losing it. Again, not much got Esme very upset. Leave it to Emmett to break multiple exceptions in one day. It was clear that she was trying to keep calm but it was difficult and Hello, Jasper, if there was ever a good time to be a nosey empath… It was a good thing Emmett didn’t have some cool power that could manipulate others because he’d be using it involuntarily all the time. What is going on here?! Okay, as shocking as this may sound it actually wasn’t Jasper’s fault at all. Emmett was a goofball but he was also smart enough to know when he messed up. A bear named Emmett, right? That was funny, ‘Mom’, Emmett commends you and your attempted misplaced humor. C’mon, Esme, you know I’d never name a bear after me. He was a little more creative than that and besides, naming such a horrible creature after himself would be degrading.

Clean this mess up. Now. Okay, so I guess it wasn’t time to go find the bear. And afterward, you can help me finish cooking your Mediterranean dish. That was reasonable in the big picture, but honestly it was a terrible idea considering he’d be ruining the work Esme had done thus far. Emmett could not cook. You do realize people are going to want to eat it, right? At this point he wasn’t even trying to be snarky anymore… he was being completely serious. As he’d made clear on countless other occasions, Emmett’s default setting was humor. He could take things seriously but you needed to know him well to realize when he was doing so because it wasn’t very evident. It’s okay, Jasper. But please help clean up this mess. Dammit, Jasper, going and apologizing and being mature. Emmett did have a conscience, yanno. It wasn’t his fault, Emmett repeated, not wanting him to be blamed even though it was pretty clear that he wasn’t getting the brunt of the blame. Emmett reached toward pieces of ceiling and started speeding around getting what he could off the floor. He was actually being really boring and saying how bad of an idea it was until a little while ago. Please tell me you didn’t ruin anything else. Nah, that should be it… but I didn’t check on the stone yet. He shrugged. Sorry, Esme.

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[JASPER HALE]

'Don't Emmett me, that's not fixing it!' No, it wasn't, but it was also a pretty normal reaction to someone breaking... well just about anything of moderate value (which the house was considered, just clarifying. I mean, have you seen it? Yeah, okay). Again, Jasper really shouldn't have been so shocked, considering this was Emmett he was rock tossing with. And rock tossing was a far from hazard-less game in and of itself. But as for 'fixing it'... "Neither is blaming a bear." he reminded (yeah, thats right, there was sarcasm in that) before following him down stairs to where Esme was already waiting in front of the mess. 'Okay, as shocking as this may sound it actually wasn’t Jasper’s fault at all.' "It was an accident." he added, deciding to answer the actual question Esme asked. "We were playing a game.." With heavy stones.. but Jasper didn't think that part was entirely necessary to mention since the stone pieces were definitely among the mess of floor pieces around them.

"Clean this mess up. Now. And afterward, you can help me finish cooking your Mediterranean dish." Okay, so, Esme and Emmett were both failing miserably at being calm and Jasper, hopelessly stuck in the middle of the two of them, took the liberty of diffusing some of the tension and calming them BOTH down. (Besides, Esme HAD to be out of her mind to think that she could ask Emmett to cook things people were going to eat. Again, not that Jasper was saying anything.) "We'll finish cooking." Hey Tilly, you know that 'shut up' look Leo gets all the time? Yeup, yeup, Emmett's turn. 'It wasn’t his fault. He was actually being really boring and saying how bad of an idea it was until a little while ago. Jasper really didn't have a response to that, because he wasn't going to lie and deny what Emmett said (it was true) but he didn't have anything to add in his brother's favor. Esme asked him to help clean up and he nodded, not really caring who's fault it was. "Of course." He helped Emmett take care of some of the bigger pieces. 'Sorry, Esme.' "We are... We didn't think it through. We'll keep it outside next time."

[ESME CULLEN]

Even when Emmett was in a serious situation, he always ended up joking around. Even when he wasn't joking, he was joking. That didn't really make sense as a sentence, but it was true nonetheless. Either way, though Esme understood that it was an accident, that didn't change the fact that they shouldn't have been roughhousing indoors (she didn't have all that many rules, so it was really ridiculous that they couldn't even follow the most important one). "You boys know I don't like it when you 'play games' inside the house...." said Esme sternly, wondering why it was that they seemed to be so forgetful of this rule. She preferred, after all, to think that they were forgetful as opposed to just disregarding of the rules. That would be disrespectful, after all, and she knew her boys better than that. They didn't ever purposefully destroy anything- they just needed better judgement.

A wave of calmness descended upon Esme as she thought of this, and she smiled almost invisibly. She knew Jasper was probably causing it, but it was probably better off that way- she didn't want to lose her temper. Thank you, she thought to herself- not that he'd know, but there was disciplining to do, anyway. "That's very kind of you, Jasper. I'm sure Emmett could use the help. We don't want him destroying the kitchen, too." she said in response to Jasper who'd kinda-sorta offered to help Emmett cook for his class. "Emmett... you should thank Jasper, he's doing a lot for you. Even though this all is mostly your fault." Emmett was telling her all about how the whole thing wasn't Jasper's fault, which she assumed was his way of thanking his brother, but she still wanted to hear the actual words. The boys apologized once more, but it still didn't take away what they'd done. Thinking about it once more and what a hassle it'd be to get it all fixed and restored, Esme began to get a bit angry again. She kneeled down, picking up some loose pieces of stone and looked at Emmett warningly. "Now Emmett, what made you decide that throwing stones in the house was a good idea?"

[EMMETT CULLEN]

Neither is blaming the bear. That’s cool Jaz, the one time you use sarcasm. Seriously, sometimes Emmett felt like Jasper didn’t know what sarcasm was and all of a sudden when it can be used against Emmett, bam. It was hustling. Emmett’s tone wasn’t actually that of aggravation, though. He wasn’t annoyed—he was just kind of flipping out. Esme was not happy because they’d basically broken the one rule that was heavily enforced in a house full of vampires. You boys know I don’t like it when you ‘play games’ inside the house. Yea but Edward doesn’t like it when we bring his books outside the house! Or outside his room… or outside their shelves but saying that wouldn’t have helped their case. With how maturely Jasper was taking the situation, Emmett almost felt bad for him, especially because he hadn’t done anything… but that changed once Emmett’s emotion suddenly changed because that was going to be such a mystery to find out how that happened.

Suddenly feeling much more subdued, Emmett had plans to complain to Jasper later. It was weird feeling one way but knowing you weren’t supposed to feel that way. In Jasper’s defense, Emmett felt much better about the situation and so he didn’t feel as defensive anymore. That’s very kind of you, Jasper. I’m sure Emmett could use the help. We don’t want him destroying the kitchen, too. It was true—that wouldn’t be a good time to destroy the kitchen. Thanks, Jasper. It’ll be fun… like we have our own cooking show and I can be like the assistant guy who hands you what you need like hammers and stuff only it’ll be cooking things.

[/color] Maybe there was a game they wouldn’t mess up in the house. We are… We didn’t think it through. We’ll keep it outside next time. Well…maybe Jasper hadn’t thought it through but Emmett had been very aware of what they were going to do. It was going to be fun—not much more thinking was necessary. He’d have said something aloud but he was getting the ‘don’t talk you’re not helping’ vibe from Jasper and so he kept his thoughts about that to himself until a question was directed at him. Now Emmett, what made you decide that throwing stones in the house was a good idea? I already told you, Edward would have had a hissy fit if his books touched the outside terrain.[/blockquote][/size]

[JASPER HALE]

The more they explained what exactly they’d been doing, the stupider Jasper realized it had been. They could have very easily thrown something that wouldn’t break the floor through Edward’s books or gone outside with the rocks and used trees as goal posts or at least six other options that he completely blamed himself for not thinking of because it wasn’t like Emmett was going to second guess his “brilliant new game”. None the less, whats done was done and now they just needed to deal with the consequences. Which would have come and been done with a lot faster if Emmett wasn’t digging himself a big black hole. For the record, telling Esme they took Edward’s books without permission was about as helpful as claiming there was a bear in the house. Jasper obviously wasn't going to say anything about it though. Considering nobody was directly addressing him anymore, Jasper fell pretty silent and concentrated on cleaning up the mess. Luckily, Emmett also stopped after that, and cue the emotion manipulating.

Very quickly the tension in the room melted away as Esme stopped being angry and Emmett stopped being defensive. Jasper knew he’d be hearing about it from at least one of them later (and he knew which one too) but in his defence it was basically his job to make sure people didn’t explode (well, that and keeping Emmett from breaking the house but we’re not speaking over that one right now). ”It’s both of our faults.” he repeated when Esme asserted that he needed to apologize. ”That’s really not neccisary.” He tried to gauge how irritated Emmett would have been at him the next time he spoke but he didn’t seem too upset. ”Thanks, Jasper. It’ll be fun… like we have our own cooking show and I can be like the assistant guy who hands you what you need like hammers and stuff only it’ll be cooking things.” ”Yeah, just like that.” he agreed, again slightly amused by Emmett even thought by this point he really should have known that being amused by Emmett led to disasters.